De ce trebuie sa fii sarcastic

Exista in lumea asta pestrita tot felul de oameni. Unii sunt “uameni” cum zicea o draga prietena, altii sunt “omni” dar cei mai multi sunt neoameni asa cum zice tata pentru ca fac parte dintr-o rasa supra – umana, numita “cainomani” cu scuzele de rigoare pentru dragii patrupezi.

Prin aceasta introducere sper sa reliefez perfect motivul principal pentru care trebuie sa fii sarcastic in lumea asta pestrita. Daca nu am mai avea glumele nesarate cu o supradoza de adevara si nici glumitele inocente care vor sa scoata la iveala un “of” atunci nu am mai avea nimic. Viata ar fi plictisitoare si lipsita de sens, caci am trai cu totii in minciuna si eschivare. Mie imi plac oamenii sarcastici, ii consider cei mai inteligenti, deoarece inainte de toate au bunul simt de a spune lucrurilor pe nume si apoi, nu numai ca fac asta, insa au talentul dea o face si intr-o maniera placuta – de care poate, prea putini se prind.
Sarcasmul apare foarte frumos spus intr-o limba care imi place mie la sonor, si anume engleza britanicilor. Umorul lor negru e cel mai placut din punctul meu de vedere si iata cateva replici pe care sincer nu am avut ocazia sa le utilizez insa le puteti utiliza voi, asta daca va aflati pe undeva prin Anglia, pe unde sper sa plec si eu in cateva luni, poate macar in noimebrie, adica in cateva saptamani. Si lista incepe asa:

“There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.” asta pentru ca tot se apropie Halloweenul.
“I only drink on occasions – when it’s my birthday and when it’s not – vintage retro funny quote“
“Where did all your money go? I’m wearing it!”
“I know it say teenage post but seriously my arms feel like they have gone through a complete workout just putting up my hair.”
“I hate brushing my teeth at night because that signifies that you can’t have anymore food and I’m just never ready for that kind of commitment.”
“It’s 10am and I’ve already eaten breakfast, lunch, and dinner…”
“I totally love exercise… If by exercise you mean sitting on the couch watching tv and eating cake”
“I’m afraid that if I give up wine, I will have to replace it with murder”
“I scream it inside my head… The older I get the less I know whether I said it in my head or out loud.”
“The best things in life either makes you fat, drunk or pregnant”
“ hate it when I plan my day and nobody follows the script”
“There’s someone for everybody, and the right person for you is a psychiatrist”
“When someone stares at me I assume they are taking notes on how to be fabulous”.
“Some people create their own storms and then get upset when it rains”
“Every great mom says the F word”
“My husband told me that in some cultures women do all the housework, so I told him in some cultures blow jobs don’t exist. He’s busy vacuuming now.”
“Whenever I am extremely bored with life, I post a political status on facebook and watch my friends battle each other like its crips vs. bloods.”
“Ahhhhh Tuesday. The day to remember all the things I didn’t get done on Monday…and push them off until Wednesday.”
“We’re sorry, your request for victim status has been denied. You are being referred to the Big Girl Panties department. Please stand by”
“Everyones all like, This wine pairs well with goat cheese and seafood. And I’m over here like, which one pairs well with pizza rolls?”
“I don’t judge people based on race, creed, colour or gender. I judge people based on spelling, grammar, punctuation and sentence structure”
„I was dropped as a baby, into a pool of Awesomeness and Glitter!”
“Hey sexy, shut the door drop your pants, climb on the top of me, and satisfy your needs. – Love always – Toilet”
“Nothing starts the day off like waking up in the morning from a poor night’s sleep, hoping it’s the weekend, and then realizing it’s only Tuesday”
Iar lista ar putea continua foarte mult si bine, insa va las pe voi sa veniti cu sugestii.


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